The act of asking is an essential tool to everyday life. One cannot get what one wishes without asking, learning is limited without asking, and most importantly, asking can help you even in the most vulnerable of work situations.
The other day I was at the store getting a merchandise credit. The associate, a young woman, affirmed my request and proceeded with the transaction. She began to click around at the register with a conspicuous expression of uncertainty on her face…. and that’s when I knew the girl had no idea what she was doing (Register-1, Girl-0). Seeing that struggle brought back memories of when I was working my first retail job at 16. You know, that distressed feeling of wanting to find a solution yourself counteracted with the internal weeping of desperation to seek help. Yes… a totally familiar feeling to me and because of that, I empathized with her.
When I could not bear to witness the associate’s attempts any longer, I suggested she check with her manager on the process. The girl seemed relieved that I gave her “permission” to ask for help. The manager came around and instructed her to scan my receipt and then the barcode before walking away. No further guidance was given and the girl was once again clicking at her register in hopes that she will conquer this transaction herself. (Register-2, Girl-0).
Some flustered minutes had gone by and I called over another associate to assist her. The peer showed her some next steps and also walked away. The girl was so ready for this ordeal to be over that she was quick to assure me the store credit had been processed and that I was good to go. I had not been given a merchandise card with the store credit so it wasn’t over and of course the manager stepped in to ask what had been going on. Her manager asked her if she knew what a store credit was and with a face so flushed with red, the girl choked on her words as she tried to give an explanation to her boss. The manager was not pleased and needless to say, she was embarrassed and dismantled of all confidence (Register-3, Girl- 0).
I left the store reflecting on my own experiences and I thought of how the power of asking would’ve helped me in situations similar to that of this one. So, if I could offer any advice to the girl in training and to my younger self-
1. You will not be judge for asking questions
We are constantly worried about what others might think of us. We hold back so as not to ask “a dumb question” because that would reflect on us as a person. I’ve come to learn that asking questions will not only help you find a solution faster, but asking will also show you’re taking an interest. Perhaps an interest to gain more knowledge and develop the skillsets to perform well. This interest may lead to opportunities that you may not have otherwise encountered if not for asking.
2. Change your approach
This point goes with No. 1. With respect to this particular situation, it’s not so much what you ask that can affect the way others will respond but rather how you ask. When the girl did approach her manager she was timid, head down, very softly spoken, and didn’t articulate the question well. Her passive disposition was interrupted by her manager who went on to give instructions on what was perceived as an answer to the girl’s beat-around-the bush question. Be confident, speak up, make eye contact, and open up your body stance to speak to that confidence. Nonverbal language has a tremendous impact on how your message will get across.
3. Get clarity
Ask for clarification and do things right the first time rather than refrain from asking a question that could be crucial to the end result. In this situation, the girl did not ask her manager to clarify the last steps to close the transaction. The girl allowed her manager to walk away because there was no follow-up on her end. To ask is to understand and to understand is to know. In turn, this saves you the time and may even spare you from the embarrassment of doing something completely wrong. Summarizing and seeking feedback are key elements to learning.
The power of asking is crucial to our development, both professionally and personally. I may not have the approach down but as I look back at my 16 year old self, life is much easier when you can express your thoughts and feelings more assertively. Asking for information when it is not given, getting clarity on directions, or requesting feedback promotes a sense of self-control in a situation. It’s okay to not have the answers and it’s okay to want to seek help. When you do that you are opening yourself up to an environment of growth, learning, and opportunity.
